The Longest Short Christmas Trip Ever!

Christmas 2022 Goal – Don’t Buy Things, Make Memories

In an attempt to do this, we planned a family vacation to San Antonio since none of us had ever been there before.

On Christmas Day, Cory, Thao and Adrian Alexander (AKA Tom) got an earlier start than us since they were coming from Anchorage. They had a tight connection in Seattle, but made it. They were scheduled to make it to Texas before the rest of us.

The rest of us (Stacia, Shawn, Jill, Drew, Gram (AKA Mom, AKA Pam) & Diane) were supposed to leave Columbus at 5:15pm. By the time we got through TSA, our flight had been delayed until 5:43pm so Shawn and I drank a couple of $8 beers while waiting. To kill time, we tracked our incoming plane. It was coming from Denver – late, but en route

While waiting in Columbus, we spent some quality time talking to some Southwest crew members who had been stranded in Columbus since Christmas Eve. There were A LOT of people waiting on delayed flights, the airport was packed, but spirits were still pretty good.

Our plane arrived, but there was no co-pilot for our flight. More waiting! It had to have been a Christmas miracle, because they finally found one who wasn’t out of hours. We began boarding our plane 7:08pm. Thankfully, our connecting flight out of Nashville heading to San Antonio was also delayed, and it was now scheduled for 8:03 (9:03 Ohio time) departure – that sounds doable!

We actually pushed back from the gate at 7:52pm. Nashville is normally an hour and a half flight which means we wouldn’t make the connection, but the announcement at the beginning said travel time was only going to be 55 mins. Second Christmas miracle? There’s still a chance!

We landed in Nashville at 8:53pm – 10 mins to make connection! As we were taxiing, the announcement came on that our gate was “occupied” and that we would be waiting on the ground “a long way from the gate.” There was no way to make the flight now. I checked status of our connecting flight and learned that it had been canceled. So, we didn’t actually miss the flight after all! I’m not sure if this is a good thing, or a bad thing.

We got of plane and realized that a canceled flight was a bad thing! It seems that canceled flights were the gift that EVERYONE received this year!  We jumped into the end of a very long line to talk to someone in Customer Service about what our options were. The line was 4 lanes wide and not moving. There were only 3 Customer Service agents working.

I called Southwest customer support and was on hold with them the entire time we stood in line in the event I could resolve our problems there first. Mom stood in a different line just in case it moved faster.  When checking my Southwest app, it said “We rebooked you on another flight” yet there was no info about that flight. There was a button to rebook, but when you tried, you got this error message.

I also had a friend (Sara) who was working the app and a computer, while at her parent’s for Christmas, to try to help us come up with a solution by the time we got to the front of the customer service desk.

While we waited, we talked to a lot of “new friends” and heard their horror stories. We felt sorry for all of the people traveling with young kids!

This normally witty advertisement by Southwest offended many people waiting in line. LIES!! But attitudes were generally positive given the absurdity of the situation. We witnessed very few rude people.

We stood in line for 5 hours (while still waiting on hold and being assured that my call was important to them) before finally making it to the counter. The poor woman we spoke with had already been working 24+ hours straight – no lunch break or anything.

At 2:30am Monday, we walked away from the customer service counter with nothing but vouchers. There were zero options with Southwest to get us to San Antonio. The best option they had was 4 seats (for the 6 of us) at 10pm Monday night to Dallas, but with no way to get from Dallas to San Antonio. So 4 of us would be trapped in Dallas, with 2 of us still being trapped in Nashville…not exactly a solution.

We pulled out a computer and started looking for flights on other airlines. As you can imagine, there were none. Gram finally got frustrated and was willing to pay the $1,700 per person price tag that were the only flights we could find, but when we tried, it was literally for ONE available seat. That still doesn’t work.

We checked Amtrak and Greyhound. They were both going to be 25-30 hours before we could get to San Antonio. We were only going to Texas for 3 days anyway. Driving the 14 ½ hours, with rental car place not opening until 7am didn’t seem practical either. By the time we arrived, it would be time to come home.

We finally waived our white flag and booked a mini van to get us and our carryon baggage home. All of us were sad that we weren’t going to get to see Tom.

Gram and Diane had checked bags that they thought were going to go on to San Antonio, so they booked a car and were going to make that drive since they were originally going to stay all week anyway.

It was now that we started hearing announcements saying that we would need to leave the terminal if we didn’t have flights booked. So now they are kicking us out! We got to the TSA exit and the guards working there told us that Southwest has zero authority to tell us to leave the terminal, and that we didn’t want to do that because there was no place to eat, sit or sleep once we crossed the “threshold.”

We stayed and attempted to sleep with hundreds of our new best friends. At least we had a game plan for the rental cars.

Around 4am, I decided that I needed to cancel my home-bound flights since obviously reaching a human on the phone to do it was NOT an option. Shawn and I headed back to the TSA exit. The super helpful TSA guards that we had spoken to before told us that *someone* from Southwest should be at the gate about an hour before the first flight out to help passengers, and thankfully, still encouraged us to not leave. Another miracle?

We checked the flight board and there were two 5am flights going out, so we went to gate C7 and joined the line, behind 3 other people already there, to wait. Joining us in the line were many other stranded people from all over the US, including 2 flight attendants and 1 pilot who had been stranded because they were out of flight time, and had to pay for hotels on their own dime, and were just trying to deadhead back home…like the rest of us!

A representative finally showed up at 4:52am. (So much for working an hour before that 5am flight leaves! Of course, maybe that flight eventually got canceled too!) After finally getting to the front of the line, we were told that they could only access reservations 24 hours out (ours were 48) and that we would need to call Customer Service to cancel our other flights since we were just going to drive home. Seriously?!? I also thought to ask about luggage. Initially we were told that the bags would proceed on to San Antonio, which is why Mom & Diane were going to drive down and continue the trip. This agent told me that the bags were still physically at the Nashville airport because no flights had gone out and that if we were going to drive, we should go to baggage claim and try to retrieve them.

There was not enough heat in the building and we were all very cold, yet we still tried to sleep. Around 6:45am Monday, the six of us headed past the TSA threshold and proceeded to baggage claim and ground transportation. It was even colder down there.

It was there that we discovered the massive luggage graveyard. The pictures I took can’t even begin to show you how many bags were there! Mom and Diane got into yet ANOTHER long line, waiting to talk to an agent in baggage claim. I walked through thousands of bags trying to located theirs – no luck.

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With Mom and Diane in line, and Shawn, Jill & Drew finding places to sit near outlets to charge things, I decided to go find where I needed to pick up our rental car, only to find hundreds of people already in line to do the same thing. Great… standing in line again!

I was on my way back to the baggage claim area, when the fire alarm went off with announcements to leave the building. I started laughing. No one moved. Finally after about 15 minutes, the announcement told us to disregard. No problem, we already were.

When we finally got to the baggage claim counter, we were informed that yes, the bags were still here, but had never made it inside the building because they were out of room to put anything. We asked if they would eventually arrive in San Antonio as originally scheduled. Nope. Since there were no longer any active tickets, the baggage would be returned to the originating airport. Wow!

Now, Mom and Diane were facing a 14 ½ hour drive, on no sleep, to spend 4 or 5 days, with nothing but the clothes on their back. They decided to give up and opted for the 6 hour drive back to Ohio with us.

Shawn had already been waiting in the rental car line for quite some time when we joined him. After we had been in the rental car line for another hour, an announcement was made that 3 of the 6 companies were completely out of vehicles. We are still a LONG way from the front of the line. We are assuming that they will run out long before we make it to the front, OR there will only be a car available for the six of us and the luggage we are dragging. Oh, and there is only one person working this line.

We start texting people for ideas of what we can do. We even considered an Uber to a non-airport car rental place in hopes of scoring a vehicle, but after making phone calls, and due to the fact that it was now snowing in Nashville, no cars had been returned.

Our dear friends (Chris & Lori) were willing to drive to Nashville and pick the six of us up. They would have to bring 2 vehicles to transport the six of us, but we were desperate! While on the phone with Lori, a second person showed up to work the rental car desk. The line started moving a little faster. I asked them to wait a little longer before leaving to see what we could find out.

We got lucky. They had our reserved van. A quick call back to Lori, thanking her, but telling her the road trip was off!

The six of us loaded up and set off in the snow to find some food!! We haven’t eaten since Sunday at 2:45pm…it’s past time!

A quick stop at Bob Evans, then a drive to Columbus to get our vehicles. After not driving very far, the van starting dinging at us. Shawn started pushing buttons and checking settings to try to make it stop. Nothing worked. I finally stopped, put it in park, then back into drive. The dinging stopped. Shawn and I switched off driving about every two hours because it was hard to stay awake.

As we neared Cincinnati, the dinging started again! We got back to Columbus around 7:00pm. We dropped Mom and Diane at their car, then went to return the rental car and find our car. We got home at 9pm Monday night.

A quick analysis of the past 31 hours:

• 10 hours of driving
• 5 hours waiting in Columbus
• 10 hours standing in lines in Nashville
• 2 hours at Bob Evans (waiting and eating)
• 55 minutes of flying

I know my math doesn’t add up to EXACTLY 31 hours, but that’s why I’m not a math teacher! The remaining time was most likely spent sitting, trying to find a way to get to Texas, and trying to sleep!

Here’s some of what we missed on our vacation.

And this is the closest we made it to Texas…the rental car license plate! Ironic isn’t it?!?

Now to figure out how to get reimbursed for flights, rental cars, and hotel in Texas from Southwest Airlines, who is most likely going to file bankruptcy!

Takeaways:

1. We still met the goal of Christmas 2022: Make Memories – this wasn’t quite the type of memories we were expecting, but I guarantee that none of us will ever forget this adventure!
2. Don’t travel on Christmas ever again.
3. Christmas 2023 Goal – “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” … LITERALLY!

The NICEST Wisdom Teeth Story Ever

I respected my son’s request by NOT making a video of him after getting his wisdom teeth removed. However, he didn’t ask me to not talk about it, so I have a loophole. (Love you Bub!)

Drew has a fear of sharp things. He’s not unique in that. Many people do. When I describe it as a fear, however, you really have no insight about the absolute terror he has about anything that may stab him and pierce his skin. I’m not sure if it’s so much the actual “poking” or the sight of blood. Perhaps it’s both? For example, the last time that he needed shots at the doctor’s office, it took 6 adults to hold him down and a 7^th to administer the shots. Since that incident, the child has grown by a foot and gained 125 pounds. I have no clue how anyone will ever be able to give him a shot (or take blood) for the rest of his life!

When it was time to have his wisdom teeth removed, we shared all of this information with the dentist during the consultation. Drew was assured that they would simply prescribe him some valium to help him relax for the procedure. He took one pill at bedtime the night before surgery, and a second one an hour before surgery. I honestly had my doubts that he would be able to go through with it, simply because he was going to need an IV.

Now, most funny incidents happen AFTER people have had their teeth removed, but as we got into the car to head to the appointment, this is when the real fun began!

Drew: “Mmmmm…  Mmmmmm…” (Yes, this is moaning. You also have to imagine all of his answers being given very slowly and with slurred speech.)

Mom: “Are you sleepy?”

Drew: “Noooo.” (Still moaning.)

Mom: “Are you higher than a kite?”

Drew: “Noooo.” (Still moaning and now rubbing his head back and forth against the head rest.) “This seat feels soooooo nice.”

Okay, I have to admit that I’m now laughing. We haven’t made it 500 feet out of the driveway yet! We travel less than 2 more minutes when I notice…

Drew: (Starts rubbing both of his legs.)

Mom: “Are your legs numb or tingly?”

Drew: “Noooo. These pants feel soooooo nice.”

Dude! This is seriously soooooo funny! We are still on our road when I glance at him again and start laughing.

Drew: (Rubbing his head and face on the seatbelt like a cat rubs up against things.)

Mom: “Hey Bub, does that seatbelt feel nice?!?!”

Drew: “Yesssssss.”

[Sidenotes: Drew didn’t have any socks at my house, so he’s actually in the car barefooted and we are stopping at Jamey’s house to grab a pair on the way to the dentist office. Also, Drew is going to his dad’s house after surgery to recover.]

Another minute passes, and he notices a cord on his lap.

Drew: “Why do I have this thing!?!?”

Mom: “It’s your phone charger.”

Drew: “Oh.”

Mom: “Did you bring your phone?”

Drew: “Yes.”

Mom: “Where is it?”

Drew: “My pocket.”

Mom: “Give it to me so we can go ahead and drop it off at Dad’s.”

I’m now entertained by Drew trying to maneuver his own hands and arms to fish his phone out of his pocket. This is a two minute procedure with a lot of moaning before he produces the phone. I’m trying to stifle my laughter.

I’m now at his Dad’s house. I quickly drop the phone and charger on the kitchen table, and grab a pair of socks out of the dresser and deliver them to Drew. I’m sincerely skeptical that he will have the coordination to put his socks and shoes on!

Mom: “Think you can manage to get these on?”

Drew: “Yes. Mmmmmm. Mmmmmm.” (More moaning as he struggles to put a sock on.) “These socks feel soooooo nice.”

Okay, I’m impressed, he managed to get two socks and two shoes on. The “nice” phrase is really getting funny! We are getting near the dentist office now.

Drew: “Is my mouth going to hurt?”

Mom: “Yes.”

Drew: (Now appears to be completely sober like someone flipped a switch.) “I don’t think I can do this.”

Wow! I’m blown away by how out of it he was just 30 seconds ago, to now this version of him!

We go inside and get checked in. He wants me to tell them that he’s really feeling nervous. He asks me four different times if I told them. I assured him that I did, and reminded him that he was standing beside me when I told them.

As we are waiting, he begins fondling the plant beside him. I’m pretty sure it feels “soooooo nice!” I point out to him what he’s doing and tell him to stop or he will kill the plant. A few seconds later, he’s groping the poor plant again. I give up.

They take us back for the requisite “Have you eaten anything today?” questions and to give me the prescriptions. As the nurse is trying to go over things, he keeps interrupting with the following line:

Drew: “Mom, did you tell them!?!”

After a handful of more “Yesses” from me to him, they send me back to the waiting room and take him back.

I am totally surprised when they appear 40 minutes later to tell me that he did great! I am beyond proud!!

The ride home wasn’t nearly as funny. He did keep telling me that he was thirsty, and asked “How did I get here?”

Drew: “Where are my lips?”

Mom: “The same place they’ve always been.”

Drew: “Oh.”

We arrived at Jamey’s and I told him to sit still until I got around the car to help him. As he got out of the car and leaned into me for support, we both about went down. I’m laughing hysterically and using all my strength trying to get him to the door. We bounced off the hallway walls like a pinball all the way to his bed!

Drew is still complaining about being thirsty, so Jamey brought him a glass of water. Needless to say, his entire face was still numb, so as he took an energetic drink of his water, it just poured out of his mouth like a waterfall! He didn’t know that it was streaming out until it landed on his arm…and the bed…and the floor! Before we could address his confusion, he tried again! The results were the same!

I think I’ve had all the fun and niceness I can handle for today! Tag Dad…you’re IT!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Innocent Incident

NOTE: My daughter told me that I couldn’t tell anyone this story, therefore, this IS NOT a story about Jill… but of a “different” new college student named Lilly.

Lilly had been away at college for one week. Mom called to check in with her, and this is the weird phone conversation that followed.

Lilly: Did you put a pregnancy test in my silverware drawer?

Mom: WHAT?!?!

Lilly: Did you put a pregnancy test in my silverware drawer?!

Mom: NO!!! What are you talking about?!?!

Lilly: I opened the drawer to get a fork, and there was a pregnancy test in there!

Mom: Is it Christina’s?!?! (roommate)

Lilly: No. I asked her. I told her that you probably put it there as a joke.

Mom: That is no joke!!!!!!

Lilly: Then it was probably Gram.

Mom: I SERIOUSLY doubt that Gram would have done that. It’s not very funny!

Lilly: Well, it’s in there.

Mom: (to Shawn) Did you put a pregnancy test in Lilly’s silverware drawer?!

Shawn: WHAT?!?!

Mom: (to Shawn) Lilly found a pregnancy test in her silverware drawer! (to Lilly) Someone has obviously been in your room! Was it in the box?

Lilly: No. Just in the plastic.

Mom: Well, unless you are taking pregnancy tests all the time, you usually need the directions to figure out how to use them! It’s weird that there are none!

Lilly: I don’t know.

The conversation then turns to homework, a new calculator, and how much money she has in the bank. My wheels are turning the entire time, when finally…

Mom: Is the pregnancy test blue?

Lilly: Yep.

Mom: It’s the tester for your water filter pitcher.

Lilly: Oh… That explains it. You can’t tell anyone this story.

Moral to the story: I love that my kid, I mean THIS KID IN THE STORY, is so innocent that she thought there was a pregnancy test in her silverware drawer. When you look at the pictures you might see how the mistake was made.

Note to Self: Be More Specific

When you wake up on a Saturday morning, and you see that instead of his usual choice of Pop Tarts, Pringles, spray cheese on Ritz, or Oreos for breakfast, your son has made himself a box of Kraft Dinner, you feel a sense of pride. I mean, the kid opted to COOK instead of graze. Parenting Win!!

So as I left the kitchen to go take a shower, I told him to put the leftover mac and cheese into a bowl with a lid on it and put it in the fridge when he was done.

Later in the day, when I open the fridge…

This, my friends, is why you can NEVER be too specific.

Making Memories

Imagine… you have just spent a relaxing week cruising to the Bahamas where you were able to bury your toes in the soft white sand and cool off in the crystal clear blue water of this tropical paradise. You are stress-free and smiling as you remember the amazing memories you have just made.

Then it happens.

A random text pops up on your phone.

Thanks Bub.

<SIGH>

You Cannot Make This Up v2

You cannot make stuff like this up.

Last night was frigid. The actual temperature was in the single digits and the wind chill was negative. Therefore, all of the pets (Buckeye, Rainbow, Snowball, and Midnight) joined all of the humans in the warmth of the house. We even had an extra pet. Jill’s dog (who lives with Jill’s dad), Finlee, the Australian shepherd, came home with her for a “sleepover.”

Sleepover is a word that I use lightly. When Finlee is there, sleep is hit or miss, with miss being the usual winner. She whines because she wants to go out. She barks because she wants to come back in. She scratches at closed bedroom doors as she wants to be able to check to make sure that everyone is safe. She barks at bedroom doors that she can’t open. She tears up things (Christmas presents specifically right now), and digs through the garbage can. She also torments Buckeye, who is usually an only-dog, all night long making her growl.

So last night, add three outside cats to the mix and you can just image the “fun.”

Picture, with me if you will, humans sleeping peacefully in beds. The furry friends weren’t bugging each other, or the humans, so we will pretend that they are peaceful too. At some point, Jill gets up to use the bathroom. This allows Finlee to escape from Jill’s bedroom where she had been shut up. Finlee then starts barking. You know the kind of barking that I mean. The kind that wakes you from a dead sleep where you are certain that a bad guy has broken into your house to do harm to all living creatures!

I stumble out of bed, glancing to notice that it’s 2:13 am, then continue my search for the frenzied dog. She is in the kitchen, staring and barking out the back door. There is obviously something out there in the cold. And her mission appears to be to make the “thing” aware that it is trespassing. By this time, Jill has joined me in the kitchen to yell at Finlee too. There are also two cats present, trying to figure out how to turn off the dog.

Jill and I stand looking out the back door, trying to see what evil lurked in the darkness. There is still a little snow on the grass, so there is a large dark shape that we can see. Keep in mind that we have deer traipsing through the yard daily, so I honestly expected it to be a deer, or a herd of deer, or even the neighbor’s dog. Nah. Not the right shape and size for any of those. I flip on the porch light, but the “thing” is lurking just past the concrete at the opposite end of the swimming pool, too far away for the light to help us.

What is it?!? At this point I will describe what we saw with my newest version of the classic holiday ditty, The 12 Days of Christmas. Hum along loudly with me as we start with “FIVE GOLDEN RINGS.” Are you ready?

FIVE GOLDEN RINGS

Four wide-awake humans

Three mad cats

Two barking dogs

And a horse standing in the backyard!

What?!? Why is there a horse in my backyard? Before Shawn could make it to the kitchen to see what the ruckus was, the horse galloped to the top of the hill and out of sight. I’m glad that Jill was there to see it to so that I know I’m not dreaming.

Like I said, you can’t make stuff like this up!

 

 

 

Keeping Us “Safe”!

So, I go out to backwash my pool filter and to check the salt level, and I see that Drew has taken it upon himself to “secure” things that don’t really need to be secured. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if he had bothered to tell me the combination before going to spend the night at Wyatt’s…

“I Was Bored.”

Shout out to Bri Jenkins for talking about Life At My House today…it allowed me to find a story to share instead of a mess to clean up!

Today was my last day of school, so, thankfully, I was only working a half day or it’s hard to tell what I would have come home to!

I pull into my driveway. The garage door is up. Drew is home alone. (Side note: He already called me once today to ask where the WD40 was. That should have been enough to make me nervous!)

I came in the door and politely called him to come and visit with me (…ok, screamed his name so that he knew I wasn’t pleased).

Stacia: “What in the world is that mess in the garage?”

Drew: “I cleaned out your shop vac.”

Stacia: “Why?!?”

Drew: “I was bored.”

<sigh>

I suppose I should be thankful that he took it upon himself to clean??? Perhaps we should all admire his handiwork?

Yes folks, he’s a keeper.

Hygiene 101

June 2014 – Riding in the car the other day, I casually said to Drew, “You didn’t even brush your teeth before we left, did you?”

Drew: “No.”

Don’t freak out and call me a bad parent…remember he IS a 12-year-old boy!! Gram, however, felt the need to instruct him, once again, on proper hygiene.

Gram: “Drew, you have got to brush ALL of your teeth. AND you HAVE to use soap!”

Drew: “I AM NOT GONNA USE SOAP ON MY TEETH!!! MOM!! Hand me a wrench so I can fix that loose screw in Gram’s brain!!!”

<sigh> Watch those literal interpretations!

Life in a Medieval Town

May 2014 – Near the end of the school year, Drew’s class was reading the story of Robin Hood. One of the activities was to complete a comparison chart between the Middle Ages and Today for a variety of situations. The answers that he gave in the chart were great, and even informative in regards to travel…who knew??!

Situation	Middle Ages	Today
Dating and marriage	You didn’t pick	You pick
Medical treatment	Unpopular	Popular
Washing clothes	Baskets of water	Washing machines
Educational opportunities	?	School
Travel	Horses (5 mph)	Cars (World Record 240 mph)
Fixing food	?	Stove
Clothing	?	?
Entertainment	Plays	TV
Money and taxes	Gold	Dollar bills

At the bottom of the table, was the question What other differences can you think of?

Drew wrote:

Lighting:
Old – candle 
New – Light Bulbs, LEDs (light emitting diodes)

Notice that not only does my boy love his electricity and various forms of lighting devices, he also realized that it was important to define LED in case the teacher was unaware of that particular acronym. Such a thoughtful young man!