I respected my son’s request by NOT making a video of him after getting his wisdom teeth removed. However, he didn’t ask me to not talk about it, so I have a loophole. (Love you Bub!)
Drew has a fear of sharp things. He’s not unique in that. Many people do. When I describe it as a fear, however, you really have no insight about the absolute terror he has about anything that may stab him and pierce his skin. I’m not sure if it’s so much the actual “poking” or the sight of blood. Perhaps it’s both? For example, the last time that he needed shots at the doctor’s office, it took 6 adults to hold him down and a 7th to administer the shots. Since that incident, the child has grown by a foot and gained 125 pounds. I have no clue how anyone will ever be able to give him a shot (or take blood) for the rest of his life!
When it was time to have his wisdom teeth removed, we shared all of this information with the dentist during the consultation. Drew was assured that they would simply prescribe him some valium to help him relax for the procedure. He took one pill at bedtime the night before surgery, and a second one an hour before surgery. I honestly had my doubts that he would be able to go through with it, simply because he was going to need an IV.
Now, most funny incidents happen AFTER people have had their teeth removed, but as we got into the car to head to the appointment, this is when the real fun began!
Drew: “Mmmmm… Mmmmmm…” (Yes, this is moaning. You also have to imagine all of his answers being given very slowly and with slurred speech.)
Mom: “Are you sleepy?”
Drew: “Noooo.” (Still moaning.)
Mom: “Are you higher than a kite?”
Drew: “Noooo.” (Still moaning and now rubbing his head back and forth against the head rest.) “This seat feels soooooo nice.”
Okay, I have to admit that I’m now laughing. We haven’t made it 500 feet out of the driveway yet! We travel less than 2 more minutes when I notice…
Drew: (Starts rubbing both of his legs.)
Mom: “Are your legs numb or tingly?”
Drew: “Noooo. These pants feel soooooo nice.”
Dude! This is seriously soooooo funny! We are still on our road when I glance at him again and start laughing.
Drew: (Rubbing his head and face on the seatbelt like a cat rubs up against things.)
Mom: “Hey Bub, does that seatbelt feel nice?!?!”
[Sidenotes: Drew didn’t have any socks at my house, so he’s actually in the car barefooted and we are stopping at Jamey’s house to grab a pair on the way to the dentist office. Also, Drew is going to his dad’s house after surgery to recover.]
Another minute passes, and he notices a cord on his lap.
Drew: “Why do I have this thing!?!?”
Mom: “It’s your phone charger.”
Mom: “Did you bring your phone?”
Mom: “Where is it?”
Drew: “My pocket.”
Mom: “Give it to me so we can go ahead and drop it off at Dad’s.”
I’m now entertained by Drew trying to maneuver his own hands and arms to fish his phone out of his pocket. This is a two minute procedure with a lot of moaning before he produces the phone. I’m trying to stifle my laughter.
I’m now at his Dad’s house. I quickly drop the phone and charger on the kitchen table, and grab a pair of socks out of the dresser and deliver them to Drew. I’m sincerely skeptical that he will have the coordination to put his socks and shoes on!
Mom: “Think you can manage to get these on?”
Drew: “Yes. Mmmmmm. Mmmmmm.” (More moaning as he struggles to put a sock on.) “These socks feel soooooo nice.”
Okay, I’m impressed, he managed to get two socks and two shoes on. The “nice” phrase is really getting funny! We are getting near the dentist office now.
Drew: “Is my mouth going to hurt?”
Drew: (Now appears to be completely sober like someone flipped a switch.) “I don’t think I can do this.”
Wow! I’m blown away by how out of it he was just 30 seconds ago, to now this version of him!
We go inside and get checked in. He wants me to tell them that he’s really feeling nervous. He asks me four different times if I told them. I assured him that I did, and reminded him that he was standing beside me when I told them.
As we are waiting, he begins fondling the plant beside him. I’m pretty sure it feels “soooooo nice!” I point out to him what he’s doing and tell him to stop or he will kill the plant. A few seconds later, he’s groping the poor plant again. I give up.
They take us back for the requisite “Have you eaten anything today?” questions and to give me the prescriptions. As the nurse is trying to go over things, he keeps interrupting with the following line:
Drew: “Mom, did you tell them!?!”
After a handful of more “Yesses” from me to him, they send me back to the waiting room and take him back.
I am totally surprised when they appear 40 minutes later to tell me that he did great! I am beyond proud!!
The ride home wasn’t nearly as funny. He did keep telling me that he was thirsty, and asked “How did I get here?”
Drew: “Where are my lips?”
Mom: “The same place they’ve always been.”
We arrived at Jamey’s and I told him to sit still until I got around the car to help him. As he got out of the car and leaned into me for support, we both about went down. I’m laughing hysterically and using all my strength trying to get him to the door. We bounced off the hallway walls like a pinball all the way to his bed!
Drew is still complaining about being thirsty, so Jamey brought him a glass of water. Needless to say, his entire face was still numb, so as he took an energetic drink of his water, it just poured out of his mouth like a waterfall! He didn’t know that it was streaming out until it landed on his arm…and the bed…and the floor! Before we could address his confusion, he tried again! The results were the same!
I think I’ve had all the fun and niceness I can handle for today! Tag Dad…you’re IT!